Yule Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid.

As the holiday’s quickly approach and 2013 comes to an end; I reflect back on the past year and I’m amazed at how things have changed. This time last year I was in a relationship with a guy whose company I didn’t particularly enjoy and I was dead set on moving out of Peace River and back into a city. Now as I prepare for my second Christmas away from home, I’m saddened by the absence of my family but I’m also excited to celebrate the holiday with another family, a family that I’ve been welcomed into with open arms in only a short amount of time. I find myself settling into a life in Peace River with a man I could love for the rest of my life and making plans for the future not for myself but for the both of us, as a team…something I’ve never had with another person, something I’ve never let myself have with another person. I’m jealous of every girl who was with him before me and I only wish that I had met him sooner. In only a few months I’ve found that I am happier now than I’ve ever been. I’m not just content with the way things are and being on my own is no longer good enough. I see myself setting new goals and having new dream; building a future that includes all I have now and more, instead of just more than what I need. I’m excited to have someone who I want to give to, and give more; Because that’s what Christmas is about. I have built new friendships and found new success. I started my own business where I can express my creativity through a camera lens.

For the past few years, after the death of my brother, Christmas wasn’t something that was celebrated notably “merry” in my house. But I still would give anything to share my happiness with my family this year. Because if I could spread my own happiness and positive energy onto those that I have loved, and seen suffer, the most then I would have done more this Christmas than I could have hoped for. I take a moment this holiday season to remember those who I have loved and lost and wish they were here to celebrate it with us. I know that if they could see where I am now, they would be nothing but proud.

As I think of the upcoming year, I don’t just think about moving away from Peace River. I think about building on my relationship, and where we can go and what we can do together. I think about ways I can improve my quality of life. I think about ways I can plan to make my goals a reality. I look forward to all new things.The only thing I could hope for in the new year is to find the strength in myself to let go of my insecurities.

My story has always been about trying to keep it together, while falling apart. After all the hard times and things I’ve been through even just this year, I still believe this has been the best year because all those wrongs have lead me here, and here is where I want to be.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, to all those who I love.

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