I learned a new word yesterday. Misophonia, pronounced mis-oh-foe-nia. It’s a neurological disorder that literally means, “hatred of sound”. Emotions like anger, hatred or disgust are triggered by certain sounds. As soon as I heard that I thought, I totally have that.
The sound of my dog licking himself or even eating or drinking is enough to drive me insane. Or worse, that adorable sound he makes when he’s dreaming is like what most people hear when someone runs their nails on a chalk board. The sound of my boyfriend breathing in my ear as I try to fall asleep makes my skin crawl. And the sound of someone blowing their nose makes my blood boil. I could never stand the sound of my sister eating. The buzzing of a fly, whistling, a phone ringing and who doesn’t hate the beeping of a truck backing up. It’s like now that I know there’s a word for it all I can think about is all the minuscule sounds that drive me absolutely insane.
From what I’ve read, I would say I have level two misophonia. When I hear a trigger, I focus on the sound and only the sound. I can’t push it to the background, it’s up front and center.
I’ve always known that I was quirky. But now I think I might be fucked up beyond repair.